Just a little something

I really have been letting my blog slip lately which is bad seeing as i have so much going on in my life and things are going to get more hectic next year! 

Seeing as it is just Jack at home today out of the kids i have a bit of time before i start cleaning the house so i though i might put some stuff down as to what has been going on in my life and in my head. Sorry if it gets a bit crazy i will try and keep on track as much as i can!

So as we all know i am having baby number 3... yes isn't the best circumstances with having the new relationship and i was so set on studying next year but i am a strong believer in things happening for a reason so clearly this bubs was meant to be. But as i say this my and Jimmy have talked a LOT about all of this and this will be my last baby. No more more me i will have my beautiful kids and 3 is defiantly enough for us! I am going to get my tubes tied i see no point in not doing it although Jimmy wants to get the snip so we are arguing as to who gets to do it hehe. I am really trying to make the most of this pregnancy but i think with the rough start with my family i am still struggling a little bit to be more excited. I have a feeling however that after my big ultra sound next week and hopefully one we know who is in there i will be more excited as we can go and start buying baby stuff! Don't get me wrong i love my little baby as much as i love my other 2 just the excitement factor is lacking a little..... Here's hoping i find it very soon! So that is one of my babies done!

Now on to Miss Lilly... She is growing up sooo fast still cant believe she is going to be 2 in less then 4 months! She amazes me every day with how quickly she is learning things. I must say she is my quite one nothing very huge happens with her she just potters along side Jack. Although Christmas night was a bit of a different story the poor baby. Her big brother knocked her over and landed on her so we spent some time up at the hospital to make sure he was ok... we even got to go in am ambulance, first time for me but Lil really didn't like it :( but she is fine just a egg on the head,scrap on her nose and some grazes on her knee. She is a toughey though like her mum :)

Now onto my mini man.... i don't even know where to begin with him. I guess i will start with the biggest thing to happen to our Mr Jack. I finally has a diagnosis for him.... He does in fact had Aspergers. He is high functioning which is fantastic makes life that little bit easier but it still means that he needs funding and help with school and all the stuff you wouldn't really think twice about with most kids we need to with Jack. After the new year is when we really start tackling all of this. I need to join something called Aspect and try and find a group around my area with parents going/gone through all of this which i know i am gunna need the support of people who know what it is like. I knew it was coming but to actually see it on paper was just heart breaking. I cried on and off all day but the next day i picked myself up and got on with things. He is still my mini man and always will be no matter what i love him to the ends of the earth and back x 10000000 but this is defiantly a new challenge for all of us to be facing. Jimmy is supporting me 100 percent which is just amazing makes me love him even more! We know the next however many years is going to be a rough road but at the same time it is going to make Jacks life that bit easier which is what i want for him.. he deserves it! Poor jack though yesterday he was getting something out of Jimmy's car and he got his finger caught in the door.... i haven't heard him scream like that for a very long time. Thankfully he didn't break this thumb he just has a swollen and very impressive coloured thumb! He is even already playing the wii!

I swear i love my kids so much i don't know what i would do without them!! Being a mum is amazing yes i have days i wanna strangle them(but i don't) but at the end of the day i look at them and my heart melts and i thank god i am a mum to these amazing children!

I am also very lucky to have the man in my life i do. I hit jackpot with this one!! He is one of my best friends but also my boyfriend. I know i can tell him anything and he wont love me any less. I love that my family have gotten to know him a bit better over the past few days cause i love having him in my life. He is amazing with the kids and it is gorgeous to watch :D. I love him so much and since he came along life seems so much easier and more fantastic! 

Ok i am gunna go i have Christmas aftermath to clean up after!!! Love ya's all :D

xoxo

My new chapter

I know i haven't written in here for a while but i have had a lot going on in my life the last few months and honestly i wasn't sure how to express it all... There has been so much joy and happiness along with with stress and questioning things that have happened also not to mention the craziness of it all and trying to figure out how to deal with it all. But now things have settled down it is time i start blogging again!!

I was going to start from the start but i think i just wanna dive into the biggest part of my newest chapter which is Jellybean!!

Jellybean is what we are calling our baby till we know if it is a boy or a girl as i hate saying "it". You are probably thinking what the hell she is pregnant.... and well yes i am actually i am 14 weeks today! 26 weeks to go(give or take). I know it isn't under the best circumstances but i am a strong believer in things happen for a reason so Jellybean was meant to be and i have the most amazing man standing by me and to be my partner! I must say out of all my bubs i think this honestly was the most shocking of all... I was so worried about telling Jimmy and my family and friends.. really i dreaded it. Things with Jimmy went well so that was a good start. After that it was down hill but i understand and totally get it!!! Things seem to be settling down which THANK THE LUCKY STARS!!!!! I have had 2 ultra sounds and the down syndrome test and all is good and clear... Bubs is healthy happy and measuring as average size. I am already starting to look pregnant and not just fat now... it is still unbelievable i am doing this again so quickly but it is slowly starting to be more real even with my belly sticking out. I think my biggest concern with me is putting on a heap of weight while pregnant  had just lost 14kg :( but i am trying not to over do it with the food and specially the junk food but sometimes it is hard when i actually feel like eating something. 

So far i must say favourite pregnancy no morning sickness just off food, the headaches haven't been too bad and the peeing isn't too bad yet either... i am feeling so much better and have been for a few weeks back to being able to eat anything which is nice and not really looking at food and going ewwwww. My carpel tunnel seems to be kicking in a bit which isn't cool but i will see how i go with that! I am already needing bigger clothes just as my belly has started going round and that stuff lol.

I have my big ultra sound on the 4th Jan next year and i cant wait i will be at the almost half way mark and hopefully we find out what it is!! I am due on the 28th of May so that date really cant come soon enough although i will try and make the most of having just 2 rugrats!

I am going to go need to wrangle up Jack and i will blog again soon i promise!!

bye xoxo

OMG!!!

I have typed and deleted so many blogs and none of them seem right!! I have so much going on right now.....
Lately i have upset a few important people in my life i am so sorry for that but I am a big believer in things happening for a reason. I just hope in time those people will forgive me and be ok with everything i hate knowing i have disappointed people i love!!
I am lucky enough to have an amazing man in my life and i love him so much!!!
Ok i am gunna leave this here and i hope i update with a lot more soon!

Just something....

I have typed about 6 different blogs and nothing seems right....
I know i haven't put anything here in ages,had a lot going on lately. I have let down a few important people the past few weeks with some stuff going on in my life, i hate that i have done this but it is my life and i am big believer in things happening for a reason. I just hope i have not disappointed them too much and that they will eventually forgive me for it and accept it and be happy... i guess time will tell really.
I am gunna leave it there not really feeling like a big blog....

Interesting

Lately just speaking to people about many different things and me being me have picked up on a lot.... Not that i can say it cause i do it as well but my goodness people get scared and hide from things they would like to take a chance on, Like i said i do it just as much but just seeing things and hearing things makes me wonder... people really just live life in fear sometimes and most of it has to do with rejection and what the bad out come will be.
Yes live life the way you want but don't regret things try not to have too many of those what if's hanging over your head. Yes you can fall flat on your face but you live.. you pick yourself back up and move on, Life can have it's hugely crappy things but it can also have it's wonderful things and taking chances can lead to amazing things.
If i hadn't of taken the chance of getting back together with Grant i would never of had Jack... Hell if i didn't take the chance with Grant i would never have found out what love really feels like and to be someone's world(granted it didn't last long but still) and if i didn't take the chance going for a younger guy with mick i wouldn't have my baby girl. Also i have met some amazing people just by going for it... Yes i have failed so many times by taking a chance but it has taught me so much.
There are a few things i am holding back taking a chance but everyone has those things.... i guess things are good how they are if they are going to change it will be later down the track i guess. I think being as sick as i got made me realise all the good things in my life again and it was just the right kick in the butt to get me back to chipper positive me! yes things still really need to be sorted out with crappy "work" but it will get sorted so i am gunna just figure out what next and go from there!!

The past week and a bit has been horrible me and the kids have been sooo sick but we are all finally on the mend which means i can get back to exercising and getting on top of my house work. Although my kitchen is clean and my fridge is spotless thanks to Jimmy cleaning it for em the other night lol. I am just glad we are all getting better seeing as i have my first markets with my sister this Sunday and next weekend is my sister 30th birthday and we are all staying in the gong for 2 nights which is going to be sooo much fun hanging out with everyone and just having fun! Gunna be a bit of a rough day Sat but i will get through and have an awesome time celebrating my sister turning the big 3-0!!!

Gunna go and find some food, i am a little hungry which is a massive thing right now LOL
love yas xoxo

Just i something wanted to put down

So i have always wondered.... why do we like/fall for the people we do. A lot of people say that have a type,if i had to say my type i would be putting down dickhead, yeas i have liked some decent guys but that was the case of we didn't click or they didn't see me that way.. the rest well they clearly all ended and turns out the guy was a dick and most of my friends and family didn't like him.
I really do think what am i doing wrong even though i am told by many that it isn't me.. clearly it is me a little seeing as i end up with this idiots. In a way i am grateful cause each time i learn something and realise even more so what i want out of a partner and that is just it i want a partner someone i am equal with but if my "type" is dickhead how am i to know the next guy wont be just that....
So if you had to say what your type is what would it be? Who are you attracted too? All the guys i have liked don't really have much in common or even have similar features... i guess only thing that is the same with most of they have gorgeous eyes.
All this dating stuff just baffles me some days and today is one of those days, I guess there is always something that you get drawn into with a person, I would love to know what people get drawn into with me other then my boobs!! I dunno all am all over the place with my thoughts atm but i just wanted to put this down not that there was much of a point to it...xoxo

Stuff,things and junk!

So lately life hasn't been all that great... yes life is about the little things but the crappy stuff is starting to effect the little joys in my life and that just doesn't fly well with me. I know things will get better it is just the matter of how much more crap will be thrown at me and when will it start t get better.
I have/am so sick atm and having sleep elude me so very often lately i have been thinking a LOT which yes in a  way is good but in a way bad, i have realised how badly i have screwed up with this whole "work" thing. I really was hoping i would bet getting on top of my finical situation but instead i am falling so very far behind i am almost to drowning point again....I am so grateful for all my family and friends trying to keep me positive and help me out i love you all so much and i have defiantly learnt a very lesson from this!!
A lot of my other thoughts have been on what is to come next year and how i can try and make it a better year then this one. Also thoughts about the past.. some about the awesome times and some about mistakes i have made. I know everyone makes mistakes that is life and if you don't how will you ever learn i just swear i am make mistakes then most and in everything in life... Jobs,money and especially guys. It seems the guys i like are either idiots that treat me crappy or they are wonderful but don't want to date me.... Hopefully that will change soon and i will find a wonderful man that treats me good and DOES want to date me!(here's hoping anyways) Having a man in my life isn't a must but it is more then welcome LOL having someone for me would be nice but i know it is a bit down the track that it will happen.
So i did my check up on the STAT dates and they have new ones now to find $160 and register to sit my test and hopefully apply and get into uni starting next year!!! If i can do that i will be so very happy i cant wait to kick start uni and know i am one step closer to becoming a teacher it is the biggest thing i want right now i think, just to know i will get there would be a weight lifted.This is all on whether i do ok in the STAT test that i get into uni if i don't i will try another way but any way possible i will be getting into uni!!!
I got a new album the other day and i am addicted!! It is Adele and i LOVE it!! She is fantastic and some of the songs are just amazing and i can so relate too! Just listening to it makes me feel better for some reason, mind you some of the songs make me think of certain people past and present.....

So update on mini man he turned 8 on Wed which i still cant wrap my head around! I have made his psychologist appointment i have to go on my own to the first appointment which isn't till Oct and then jack has his first appointment in Nov so a bit of a weight but least it is starting to happen. Also had his hearing tested and he has perfect hearing so he is screwed now cant get away with not listening lol. He is having friend issues again at school which explains his bad behavior again... I really wish he would just leave it and try playing with other kids although most of them don't want to play with Jack cause he is so different... makes my heart break knowing he doesn't really have any friends :( he is such a loving kid yes odd but still.... hopefully he will find some good friends soon that wont switch whether they like him or not.....

Not much to update on miss Lil pil still getting more beautiful and cheeky everyday, she is super sick like me which sucks she isn't coping all that well :( She is talking even more and figuring things out so bloody quickly freaks me out!!She is 17 months tomorrow.. it will be her 2nd birthday before i know it!

Well gunna go xoxo