I'm back!!!

So i have finally had a chance to get my blog up and running again, thank goodness for that!! I have been having the urge to blog for a while now with so much going on in my life.
I know i am not always going to have the chance to update now with 3 kids but least i have the option when i have that urge!

I had a quick look at the last time i bogged and it was back in December :O that is shocking but with my computer dieing and then flood,moving house,trip to Melb,having a baby and having a badly running lappy of course it has been a while. It is going to take me a while to catch up with things but i will get there!

I will however start with the birth of my baby boy Xander!! He was born on the 31st May 2012! I went into actual labor 9am on the 30th but nothing major was happening so i was stuck at home just waiting for something to happen which well it didn't until around 6:30am on the 31st.I We got to the hospital around 9am and i was put on a monitor to check bubs heart rate and my contractions....As much as they were getting painful i was so happy i went into labor on my own.... my contractions were coming without the inducing drug was the best feeling. I had Jimmy,Kathy(jimmy's mum) and my sister with me at this point... not sure what time i was moved into an actual room but it felt so much more real once i was in that room. A bit after this my contractions were really starting to get nasty... I think at this point i was only about 3-4cm along. I ended up having some gas which took the edge off for a while but then it was just too much... they checked again and i was only 5cm along so i decided now was the time for an epidural and thank god for that!!! Once that kicked in i was a happy chappy... Just happy to let things fall how they may. A bit after this they broke my waters to help things along even more! Mum also came down to visit with Lilly through all of this... Lil was a bit weirded out by it but  she did pretty good.
After my they broke my waters things picked up a bit more and then i started having a lot of pressure around my hips and started to hurt a little too.... seems it was starting to be time to start pushing. I was a bit worried though cause my mum wasn't back yet. But she made it YAY. It got to 6pm and my lovely midwives told me it was time to push. I was so scared by this point,I couldn't believe this was it. I pushed for exactly 24mins before he was born.... i swear the longest and hardest 24 mins of my life.I was so relieved he was out i wanted to give up so many times but i had the best support system through it so i just kept trying... and yelling for him to get out LOL. After he was out they put him on me straight away.... this was the newest feeling i had ever experienced as my other 2 i didn't have that,they were both taken away. So they cleaned me up and whatever they do but the whole time i was holding my new son. He was just beautiful... Perfect and mine to hold then and there. After an hour old i fed him for the first time which he took to pretty well. I was so proud of myself with the whole thing specially when i found out the was 8 pound 2 ounce!! He didn't look that big to me though. The first few days were a blur... Well all except when Xand was taken down to the NIC unit for a few hours as his blood sugar levels were rather low as my milk was taking forever to come in. But i was only in hospital 2 nights and then i got to come home to my 2 other babies and my wonderful man!
Xander is 3 weeks today... He is sleeping and eating well except for being sick he is doing so good. Breastfeeding like a trooper too which is the best feeling. I must say though i cant wait till he is sleeping through the night not that i can complain much about his sleeping really. Just hope it stays this way.As of next Wed i will be on my own and Jimmy goes back to work... it is going to be an interesting time but i know i will be ok just hoping i adjust quickly!!!

Well i better go Xander is due for a feed soon. I will update again soon. So glad i have this back YAY

Just a little something

I really have been letting my blog slip lately which is bad seeing as i have so much going on in my life and things are going to get more hectic next year! 

Seeing as it is just Jack at home today out of the kids i have a bit of time before i start cleaning the house so i though i might put some stuff down as to what has been going on in my life and in my head. Sorry if it gets a bit crazy i will try and keep on track as much as i can!

So as we all know i am having baby number 3... yes isn't the best circumstances with having the new relationship and i was so set on studying next year but i am a strong believer in things happening for a reason so clearly this bubs was meant to be. But as i say this my and Jimmy have talked a LOT about all of this and this will be my last baby. No more more me i will have my beautiful kids and 3 is defiantly enough for us! I am going to get my tubes tied i see no point in not doing it although Jimmy wants to get the snip so we are arguing as to who gets to do it hehe. I am really trying to make the most of this pregnancy but i think with the rough start with my family i am still struggling a little bit to be more excited. I have a feeling however that after my big ultra sound next week and hopefully one we know who is in there i will be more excited as we can go and start buying baby stuff! Don't get me wrong i love my little baby as much as i love my other 2 just the excitement factor is lacking a little..... Here's hoping i find it very soon! So that is one of my babies done!

Now on to Miss Lilly... She is growing up sooo fast still cant believe she is going to be 2 in less then 4 months! She amazes me every day with how quickly she is learning things. I must say she is my quite one nothing very huge happens with her she just potters along side Jack. Although Christmas night was a bit of a different story the poor baby. Her big brother knocked her over and landed on her so we spent some time up at the hospital to make sure he was ok... we even got to go in am ambulance, first time for me but Lil really didn't like it :( but she is fine just a egg on the head,scrap on her nose and some grazes on her knee. She is a toughey though like her mum :)

Now onto my mini man.... i don't even know where to begin with him. I guess i will start with the biggest thing to happen to our Mr Jack. I finally has a diagnosis for him.... He does in fact had Aspergers. He is high functioning which is fantastic makes life that little bit easier but it still means that he needs funding and help with school and all the stuff you wouldn't really think twice about with most kids we need to with Jack. After the new year is when we really start tackling all of this. I need to join something called Aspect and try and find a group around my area with parents going/gone through all of this which i know i am gunna need the support of people who know what it is like. I knew it was coming but to actually see it on paper was just heart breaking. I cried on and off all day but the next day i picked myself up and got on with things. He is still my mini man and always will be no matter what i love him to the ends of the earth and back x 10000000 but this is defiantly a new challenge for all of us to be facing. Jimmy is supporting me 100 percent which is just amazing makes me love him even more! We know the next however many years is going to be a rough road but at the same time it is going to make Jacks life that bit easier which is what i want for him.. he deserves it! Poor jack though yesterday he was getting something out of Jimmy's car and he got his finger caught in the door.... i haven't heard him scream like that for a very long time. Thankfully he didn't break this thumb he just has a swollen and very impressive coloured thumb! He is even already playing the wii!

I swear i love my kids so much i don't know what i would do without them!! Being a mum is amazing yes i have days i wanna strangle them(but i don't) but at the end of the day i look at them and my heart melts and i thank god i am a mum to these amazing children!

I am also very lucky to have the man in my life i do. I hit jackpot with this one!! He is one of my best friends but also my boyfriend. I know i can tell him anything and he wont love me any less. I love that my family have gotten to know him a bit better over the past few days cause i love having him in my life. He is amazing with the kids and it is gorgeous to watch :D. I love him so much and since he came along life seems so much easier and more fantastic! 

Ok i am gunna go i have Christmas aftermath to clean up after!!! Love ya's all :D

xoxo

My new chapter

I know i haven't written in here for a while but i have had a lot going on in my life the last few months and honestly i wasn't sure how to express it all... There has been so much joy and happiness along with with stress and questioning things that have happened also not to mention the craziness of it all and trying to figure out how to deal with it all. But now things have settled down it is time i start blogging again!!

I was going to start from the start but i think i just wanna dive into the biggest part of my newest chapter which is Jellybean!!

Jellybean is what we are calling our baby till we know if it is a boy or a girl as i hate saying "it". You are probably thinking what the hell she is pregnant.... and well yes i am actually i am 14 weeks today! 26 weeks to go(give or take). I know it isn't under the best circumstances but i am a strong believer in things happen for a reason so Jellybean was meant to be and i have the most amazing man standing by me and to be my partner! I must say out of all my bubs i think this honestly was the most shocking of all... I was so worried about telling Jimmy and my family and friends.. really i dreaded it. Things with Jimmy went well so that was a good start. After that it was down hill but i understand and totally get it!!! Things seem to be settling down which THANK THE LUCKY STARS!!!!! I have had 2 ultra sounds and the down syndrome test and all is good and clear... Bubs is healthy happy and measuring as average size. I am already starting to look pregnant and not just fat now... it is still unbelievable i am doing this again so quickly but it is slowly starting to be more real even with my belly sticking out. I think my biggest concern with me is putting on a heap of weight while pregnant  had just lost 14kg :( but i am trying not to over do it with the food and specially the junk food but sometimes it is hard when i actually feel like eating something. 

So far i must say favourite pregnancy no morning sickness just off food, the headaches haven't been too bad and the peeing isn't too bad yet either... i am feeling so much better and have been for a few weeks back to being able to eat anything which is nice and not really looking at food and going ewwwww. My carpel tunnel seems to be kicking in a bit which isn't cool but i will see how i go with that! I am already needing bigger clothes just as my belly has started going round and that stuff lol.

I have my big ultra sound on the 4th Jan next year and i cant wait i will be at the almost half way mark and hopefully we find out what it is!! I am due on the 28th of May so that date really cant come soon enough although i will try and make the most of having just 2 rugrats!

I am going to go need to wrangle up Jack and i will blog again soon i promise!!

bye xoxo

OMG!!!

I have typed and deleted so many blogs and none of them seem right!! I have so much going on right now.....
Lately i have upset a few important people in my life i am so sorry for that but I am a big believer in things happening for a reason. I just hope in time those people will forgive me and be ok with everything i hate knowing i have disappointed people i love!!
I am lucky enough to have an amazing man in my life and i love him so much!!!
Ok i am gunna leave this here and i hope i update with a lot more soon!

Just something....

I have typed about 6 different blogs and nothing seems right....
I know i haven't put anything here in ages,had a lot going on lately. I have let down a few important people the past few weeks with some stuff going on in my life, i hate that i have done this but it is my life and i am big believer in things happening for a reason. I just hope i have not disappointed them too much and that they will eventually forgive me for it and accept it and be happy... i guess time will tell really.
I am gunna leave it there not really feeling like a big blog....

Interesting

Lately just speaking to people about many different things and me being me have picked up on a lot.... Not that i can say it cause i do it as well but my goodness people get scared and hide from things they would like to take a chance on, Like i said i do it just as much but just seeing things and hearing things makes me wonder... people really just live life in fear sometimes and most of it has to do with rejection and what the bad out come will be.
Yes live life the way you want but don't regret things try not to have too many of those what if's hanging over your head. Yes you can fall flat on your face but you live.. you pick yourself back up and move on, Life can have it's hugely crappy things but it can also have it's wonderful things and taking chances can lead to amazing things.
If i hadn't of taken the chance of getting back together with Grant i would never of had Jack... Hell if i didn't take the chance with Grant i would never have found out what love really feels like and to be someone's world(granted it didn't last long but still) and if i didn't take the chance going for a younger guy with mick i wouldn't have my baby girl. Also i have met some amazing people just by going for it... Yes i have failed so many times by taking a chance but it has taught me so much.
There are a few things i am holding back taking a chance but everyone has those things.... i guess things are good how they are if they are going to change it will be later down the track i guess. I think being as sick as i got made me realise all the good things in my life again and it was just the right kick in the butt to get me back to chipper positive me! yes things still really need to be sorted out with crappy "work" but it will get sorted so i am gunna just figure out what next and go from there!!

The past week and a bit has been horrible me and the kids have been sooo sick but we are all finally on the mend which means i can get back to exercising and getting on top of my house work. Although my kitchen is clean and my fridge is spotless thanks to Jimmy cleaning it for em the other night lol. I am just glad we are all getting better seeing as i have my first markets with my sister this Sunday and next weekend is my sister 30th birthday and we are all staying in the gong for 2 nights which is going to be sooo much fun hanging out with everyone and just having fun! Gunna be a bit of a rough day Sat but i will get through and have an awesome time celebrating my sister turning the big 3-0!!!

Gunna go and find some food, i am a little hungry which is a massive thing right now LOL
love yas xoxo

Just i something wanted to put down

So i have always wondered.... why do we like/fall for the people we do. A lot of people say that have a type,if i had to say my type i would be putting down dickhead, yeas i have liked some decent guys but that was the case of we didn't click or they didn't see me that way.. the rest well they clearly all ended and turns out the guy was a dick and most of my friends and family didn't like him.
I really do think what am i doing wrong even though i am told by many that it isn't me.. clearly it is me a little seeing as i end up with this idiots. In a way i am grateful cause each time i learn something and realise even more so what i want out of a partner and that is just it i want a partner someone i am equal with but if my "type" is dickhead how am i to know the next guy wont be just that....
So if you had to say what your type is what would it be? Who are you attracted too? All the guys i have liked don't really have much in common or even have similar features... i guess only thing that is the same with most of they have gorgeous eyes.
All this dating stuff just baffles me some days and today is one of those days, I guess there is always something that you get drawn into with a person, I would love to know what people get drawn into with me other then my boobs!! I dunno all am all over the place with my thoughts atm but i just wanted to put this down not that there was much of a point to it...xoxo